All the big news media outlets are, by definition, after the mass market – they can only remain soluble by appealing to as many people as possible. You might not like absolutely everything they have to dish up, but you're not fuckin' supposed to.
Newspapers figured this shit out centuries ago, and the modern paper might be gasping for an audience, but it still follows that old template of slicing the news up into sections – news, world, life and style, entertainment, business, sport, travel and whatever they feel like. Many people would buy the paper just for the sports news, or just the latest business dealings. There were still some poor, deluded souls who read it all, but it wasn't for everybody.
Even in a publication dealing with a specific subject, there is still a vital need for variety - even B2B magazines about housewares have to have serious stories about refrigerators mellowed out by the human touch of in-store antics at the Balclutha branch.
Above all, it's about getting the mix right. There needs to be a bit of variety, because a downer news day needs something a bit up-beat. It can't all be weightless tosh, but it also can't all be dour and serious news, either.
Sometimes there is just too much doom and gloom. TV, in particular, has a limited time to get a good blend of stories, and can sometimes be grimness from sting to tail, or - on a particularly slow news day - be overwhelmed on fluff (in general, the main TV news bulletins are getting that mix dead on.)
It's particularly bad on Fridays here in NZ, when there is often a glut of court judgements and sentences coming down before the weekend, and a breaking news website can quickly become nothing but tales of murder and rape and abuse and other awful shit, and a story about a rogue penguin on the motorway will not only be welcomed, it will be greatly appreciated. As much as the 'if it bleeds, it leads', mentality is still there, it doesn't all have to be miserable.
And besides, what's so bad about giving people a bit of what they want, as long as it's harmless enough and still surrounded by serious and important issues? There is a lot of real estate on a web page, some of it can be spared for silly nonsense like reality TV shows, or mild celebrity gossip. Every news website editor that is after some clicks to hit those KPIs wouldn't be doing their job if they ignored a vast audience that only wanted something light and fluffy from their news diet.
Yeah, okay, the Bachelor is vacuous horseshit, but there are still tens of thousands of people who are genuinely interested in any news about the show, and they're too busy making happy predictions about who Zac will give the glad eye to, to give a shit about your news-shaming. They know it's just vacuous horseshit, and they don't care. The know there is some dirty old cross-promotion going on when The Project gets exclusive access to the show's stars, they just don't give a flying fuck.
We do live in a playlist culture, where everyone wants everything easily supplied and curated to their own needs. But the mass market just can't do that, because it's mass. That's how it works..
So all news reports aren't for everybody, and an editor trying fill a website, a paper page or a bulletin will always need to suppress that news gag reflex, in order to appeal to as many people as possible. They might hate that clickbait bullshit just as much as you do, but they wouldn't be doing their jobs if they just ignored it. And it wouldn't be a problem if you weren't all fucking clicking on it.
Next: Yeah, sure, but there is a time and a place.
- Katherine Grant
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