132. Thanks for your feedback

There's this really great thing in a national crisis where large and small newsrooms get bombarded with messages second-guessing everything they're producing, and offering up obvious leads, and delivering a massive case of what-aboutism, in the most massively passively-aggressive way. And when we say it's really great, we mean it's a enormous pain in the arse.

It's not as bad as some of the outright racist and hateful bullshit that some reporters - mainly women, funnily enough - have been getting in their emails, they're more notes from people on their high horse about the issue, and even though they've never set foot in a newsroom before, they're convinced every journo in the country is doing it wrong, and they just want the media to know exactly how they feel about it.

So after innumerable phone calls and emails - and even a fax or two! A fucking fax! - we figured we'd offer up 10 easy answers for dumbarse questions. Anybody who picks up the main phone line in the newsroom and gets stuck with Clive from Gisborne and his racist, moronic ideas is welcome to use any of them:

1. Yes, we have thought about the way our newsroom is handling the naming of the motherfucker responsible for the Christchurch terror attacks, and it's a complex issue that requires some strong consideration, and it's going to take some time, as is the judicial case against him.

2. Yes, we did hear what the Prime Minister said about not naming the gunman.

3. Yes, we do still think he's a terrorist, but he's also a gunman, an attacker, a killer and a shooter. And those words just fit better in tight headline space.

4.  No, person on the street with a common-sense perspective, we're not going to put you on air because you have to tell the world that it's all the Jews' fault.

5. Yes, we did hear what the Prime Minister said about not naming the attacker.

6.  Yes, we've heard about the slaughter of Christians in Africa and we do think it's an appalling loss of life, but it didn't take place in a cultural vacuum of good versus evil, but in a hugely complex environment that is dealing with huge resource exhaustion.

7. Yes, we've heard about the slaughter of Muslims in Africa and we do think it's an appalling loss of life, but it didn't take place in a cultural vacuum of good versus evil, but in a hugely complex environment that is dealing with huge resource exhaustion.

8. No, it's not censorship by taking away a platform to spew out harmful ideas. Go start your own fucking website if it's that important.

9.  Yes, we did hear what the Prime Minister said about not naming the killer.

10. No, we don't need another link to the fucking video.

Thank you for your feedback. Now please fuck off.

- Margaret Tempest