10. The First Rule Of Journalism

“Like all ancient crafts and mysteries, journalism has its arcane laws. I'm about to tell you the secret, four-word First Rule Of Journalism. It is not, as you might have been led to believe, some righteous minglefluff such as 'Seek After The Truth' or 'Defend Our Precious Freedoms'. It is 'Fill The Fucking Space'. The ultimate point of journalism is to plug a hole on the page with whatever arseplasma you can find”.

- Malcolm Tucker

(Also, don't ever wave in public, because when the photo comes out, you'll look like a fucking Nazi. Deputy Prime Minister Paula Bennett should take note.)