It's still there. We're nearly two decades into the 21st century, and some people are still moaning about the fact that our broadcast journos don't sound like BBC radio announcers from the 1930s.
For most of the past century, our broadcasters were forced to adapt the most dreadful and unsatisfying combination of the Queen’s English and their own local sound – something that was neither here nor there.
Things have relaxed over the years, but any journo or presenter that dares to get a Kiwi twang in their voice is mercilessly slated, and unless it is a booming, powerful voice, anything truly distinctive is still sneered at.
In these politically aware age, anybody with half a brain and part of a soul knows you don't go around slagging people off for their physical appearance - you just don't make fun of people with ginger hair or a big backside, not without coming across as a complete tool. But you still hear people making fun of somebody's voice, and if they dare to imagine they can broadcast that voice, they're only asking for ridicule. It's their fault, on account of the way they talk.
After all, people with slightly odd voices don't have any real feelings, not like regular people, and deserve to have their self-esteem torn down by sneers and snide laughter. (The fact that it’s mainly the women journalists that have to take this kind of shit is also worth noting.)
There are, admittedly, issues with Maori pronunciation coming over the airwaves, with sacred place names and concepts sometimes mangled, but there is also a general attempt to nail the right sound, which should always be actively encouraged. Anybody intentionally getting it wrong, over and over, deserves all the flak they get, but most people make the effort.
There are also some great voices on our airwaves, like the warm tones of Newstalk ZB great Neva Retimanu; or the beautiful booms of John Campbell's voice, wherever it’s coming from; or a number of TV journos and presenters with some smooth-as-hell voices (this past weekend’s Newshub bulletins - which featured the Ashburton-bred tones of both deep-voiced Mitch McCann and Media Scrum fave Susie Nordqvist - was a goddamn treat for the ears).
But there are also a bunch of distinctive voices that don’t sound like anybody else on air, and there is no shortage of arseholes willing to stay laying into them. Some voices can be shrill or high-pitched, and some reporters have stilted, breathless delivery, or droning tones, or broad, flat accents. Some of them just sound a bit weird and strange.
But so what? While a bit of charisma can go a long way, the important thing is that people can still just understand you, and a distinctive delivery can bring some life to the driest of reports.
And it also matters because we shouldn't be ashamed where we come from. If you're from Gore or Gisbourne, you should be proud how where you come from. And you should be proud to let the world hear it through your own individual voice, not the one that was mercilessly drummed into you at broadcasting school.
Bring on the Kiwi whine, even if it crackles with a touch of the vocal fry. Our greatest broadcasters have voices that are still remembered years and years later, not because they were blandly understandable, but because they were goddamn distinctive.
All these years later, Angela D'Audney's unmistakably Kiwi delivery is as fondly remembered as Philip Sherry’s, even if it wasn’t as smooth or slick. It’s a kind of voice that’s always still worth hearing.
-Katherine Grant
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